You are not Broken. You are wired differently.
Take what helps, skip what doesn’t, and remember you don’t have to do this alone.
Save it to your computer. Print it. Write on it. It’s yours.
🤝 Coach or Therapist? The Decision Checklist
A checklist from ND Hive. Companion to “ADHD Coaching vs. Therapy”
What this is
ADHD coaching and therapy do different work. Most ND adults need BOTH at different points. This checklist helps you figure out which one to pursue first based on what you’re navigating right now.
Takes 5 to 8 minutes.
How this works
Check each statement that’s TRUE for you in the last month. Each statement points toward coaching, therapy, or both. Tally at the end.
Coaching points to: forward-looking, skills, systems, performance
- ☐ I know what I want to do but I cannot consistently execute (+1 coach)
- ☐ I need help building external scaffolding (calendars, systems, accountability) (+1 coach)
- ☐ I’m in a phase where I need a body double / co-regulator more than analysis (+1 coach)
- ☐ I want practical strategies for ADHD-specific patterns (+1 coach)
- ☐ I want someone who gets the wiring AND has done the work themselves (+1 coach)
- ☐ I need help with current real-life logistics (+1 coach)
- ☐ I’m not in crisis but I’m not thriving (+1 coach)
Therapy points to: past wounds, mental health, identity, processing
- ☐ I’m processing trauma (childhood, relational, late-diagnosis grief) (+1 therapy)
- ☐ I’m experiencing symptoms beyond ADHD (anxiety, depression, OCD, PTSD) (+1 therapy)
- ☐ I have suicidal ideation or self-harm thoughts (+1 therapy, urgent)
- ☐ I keep repeating destructive patterns and want to understand WHY (+1 therapy)
- ☐ I’m in active grief / major life transition (+1 therapy)
- ☐ I want a clinical relationship with confidentiality and clinical ethics (+1 therapy)
- ☐ I need formal mental health support (medication management requires this) (+1 therapy)
Both points to: complex situations, multiple needs, advanced support
- ☐ I’m late-diagnosed and processing identity AND building new systems (+1 each)
- ☐ I have ADHD AND co-occurring conditions (anxiety, depression, etc.) (+1 each)
- ☐ I’m in burnout recovery AND restructuring my work life (+1 each)
- ☐ I have CPTSD or trauma AND I need executive function support (+1 each)
- ☐ My relationships are struggling AND my systems are failing (+1 each)
Tally
| Bucket | Score |
|---|---|
| Coach | _____ |
| Therapy | _____ |
Interpretation
Coach >> Therapy (3+ point gap): Start with a coach. Add therapy if mental health stuff surfaces.
Therapy >> Coach (3+ point gap): Start with therapy. The mental health work needs to be primary right now.
Both roughly even AND high totals: You need both. Start with whichever is more urgent.
Both low: You may not need either right now. Or you may need a different kind of support (peer support, community, medical).
The “what kind” sub-decisions
If choosing a coach:
- ☐ Do they specialize in ADHD / AUDHD / ND specifically? (Yes is essential)
- ☐ Do they understand co-regulation, body doubling, executive function? (Yes is essential)
- ☐ Are they themselves ND? (Often a strong signal)
- ☐ Do they hold a coaching certification specifically for ND clients? (NDCA-trained is a good signal)
- ☐ Do they offer regular accountability AND space to think out loud?
- ❌ Avoid: generic life coaches, manifestation coaches, “high performance” coaches without ND understanding.
If choosing a therapist:
- ☐ Do they specifically work with ADHD / autism / AUDHD adults? (Yes is essential)
- ☐ Do they understand the difference between trauma and ADHD presentations?
- ☐ Are they trauma-informed if you have a trauma history?
- ☐ Do they accept your insurance OR have sliding scale?
- ❌ Avoid: therapists who treat ADHD as “just anxiety,” who pathologize ND traits, or who are unfamiliar with late-diagnosis adults.
Common mistakes
- ❌ Going to therapy expecting coaching (you’ll feel stuck)
- ❌ Going to coaching expecting therapy (you’ll feel exposed without support)
- ❌ Trying to pick the “right” one when the answer is both
- ❌ Choosing based on insurance only and getting someone with no ND expertise
- ❌ Quitting either one too soon, the early sessions feel awkward but the work is in months 3-6
What to do if you can only afford one
Pick the one addressing your most urgent need. Most ND adults benefit MORE from peer-led ND community + occasional coaching than from solo therapy with a non-specialist. Don’t underestimate community as a substitute for paid support, especially if budget is tight.
A free 7-day Hive trial + a $40/month ND community might be more useful than a $200/session generalist therapist who doesn’t get the wiring.
Reminder
The right professional is not a luxury. The wrong professional is worse than no professional. ND adults have spent years being mis-supported by people who don’t understand the wiring. The bar for “good enough” should be: they get the wiring AND they get YOU.
You are allowed to leave a coach or therapist who doesn’t fit. You are allowed to switch. You are allowed to pause.
Try peer co-regulation first. Try a Hive Session free for 7 days →
Back to “ADHD Coaching vs. Therapy” →
A checklist from ND Hive. Built for people who keep wondering which kind of help they actually need.