You are not Broken. You are wired differently.
Take what helps, skip what doesn’t, and remember you don’t have to do this alone.

Save it to your computer. Print it. Write on it. It’s yours.

The Sensation Ladder

Paired worksheet: Alexithymia, When You Can’t Name What You Feel

Alexithymia means the feeling is there but the word goes missing. This worksheet doesn’t ask you to “just name your emotion.” It starts where the data actually lives, in your body, and climbs one rung at a time to a word you can use. Four tools, four rungs. Work them in any order. Come back as often as you need.

• Rung 1, Notice. Where is there sensation in your body right now? Don’t name a feeling yet.
• Rung 2, Narrow. Sort it into a broad family: mad, sad, scared, joyful, peaceful, powerful.
• Rung 3, Name. Use the emotions wheel to move from the family to a specific word.
• Rung 4, Need. Ask what that feeling is pointing at. Every emotion is asking for something.

Tool 1: The Emotions Wheel

Start in the center. Find the family that fits the sensation, then move outward to a more specific word. Pointing at a word counts. That is the tool working, not you failing.

The word I landed on today:

Tool 2: Body-Sensation Map (Rung 1)

Alexithymia is closely tied to interoception, your sense of what’s happening inside your body. This is the rung most emotional-awareness advice skips, so build it first. Scan each region. Where is there sensation? Note it plainly: tight, hot, hollow, buzzing, heavy, fluttery, clenched. You are collecting data, not naming a feeling yet.

The strongest sensation is in my: ___________. It feels: ___________.

Now climb to Rung 2: which family on the wheel does that sensation sit nearest?

Tool 3: The Workplace Decoder

Alexithymia gets misread at work as cold or checked out, even when you care deeply. These are scripts and steps to climb the ladder before, during, and after the moments that usually catch you flat. Fill in the ones you want ready to go.

Buy the minute (the delay script)

When asked “how do you feel about this?” and your mind goes blank, say this instead of forcing an answer:

Starter: “I want to give you a real answer, not a reflexive one. Can I think on it and come back to you this afternoon?”

Pre-meeting ladder climb

Before a charged conversation, run all four rungs in advance. Write what you expect:

Notice (body):

Narrow (family) and Name (word):

Need (what I’ll ask for):

Pre-empt the misread

One sentence you can say so flatness isn’t mistaken for not caring:

Starter: “I process feelings slowly and on the outside it can look flat. That’s not how I feel about this.”

Tool 4: Daily Check-In Tracker

Because alexithymia muffles your early-warning system, stress can build to a crisis before you consciously notice. This is the highest-leverage habit in the whole worksheet: a two-line daily climb that replaces a broken internal alarm with an external one. Keep it light. One sensation, one guess at the family, one word, one need. A guess always counts.

Your Next Actions

• Print the emotions wheel and put it somewhere you’ll see it: notebook, desk, or phone lock screen.
• Set two “body scan” alarms for tomorrow. Thirty seconds each. That’s Rung 1.
• Write out your delay script and keep it where you can reach it in a meeting.
• Fill in the daily tracker for one week, guesses fully allowed.
• Bring your wheel to a Hive Session on your free 7-day trial and practice the ladder alongside people who get it.

What Surfaced for You?

No right answers. Just notice what came up while you worked through this.

You don’t need better feelings. You need words for the ones you already have.

Danielle Ralston
MBA, MSW, ADHD-CCSP, PhD(c), Master ADHD Coach, AuDHD, Founder of ND Hive

Read the full guide: Alexithymia, When You Can’t Name What You Feel →

© Ralston Collective Holdings LLC. ndhive.com